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If you cannot deny yourself anything, such as ice cream, then ice cream rules you. If you limit yourself in ice cream, then it has double control over you. Because now to the discomfort about his absence is mixed with self-hatred and guilt in case you could not resist. If you completely deny the ice cream – then it rules over you, because he managed to cut off a piece of your reality.
Also – with the rest of desires: alcohol, sex, cigarettes, money, adrenaline. Quitting smoking is not difficult due to chemical dependency, but because quitting depends on cigarettes much more than a smoker. An oppositionist fighting for democracy will never become a free citizen – he is a slave to the struggle. The monk-ascetic will never win the “passion of the flesh” – he will remain a slave to denial. Acceptance and rejection – just a metamorphosis of dependence.
Wisdom is not in self-restraint, not in total austerity, but in balance. You become free from your desires when you keep inner comfort, regardless of whether you get what you want or not. The beauty of such freedom is that you are invulnerable.
Are you happy or … happy.